Sue Hanisch - 1998 Scholar
Her Story

The Royal International Air Tattoo Flying Scholarships for the Disabled in Memory of Group Captain Sir Douglas Bader.
A speech given at The Jersey Aviation Ball on 11 May 2001 in aid of the scholarship scheme.

There are times in all of our lives when the music stops, doesn't it? And there is little or nothing we can do on our own to get it going again.

For me the music stopped on Feb 18th 1991 at ten to eight. It was a Monday Morning on Victoria Station, London. I was making a quick telephone call to my Mum. I was only in London for the weekend!

Suddenly, and shockingly, an anonymous face with evil in their heart ripped my life apart. With the devastating blast of an IRA bomb it meant that nothing was the same. Nothing could ever be the same

As I lay on the floor of Victoria Station and tried to get up, I could see that I had lost my right foot and had severe injuries to my left leg But still I couldn't understand why I couldn't get up. There was chaos everywhere.

There were many losses that day, for me and for others. Some were obvious some I only realised and faced years later.

My physical losses took priority, which of course, they had to. But years on when my physical disability had become a daily reality, the enormity of the changes to my self-identity were truly disabling.

By this I mean the things which I felt made me, ME

I knew that I was not coping. After a11 the years I had worked as an Occupational Therapist and had been advising other people with disabilities on how to cope, I realised I had never had a true understanding of disability .

How arrogant I had been! How could I start to rebuild the person I had been with what was left?

My body wasn't the same any more -my relationships weren't the same any more and at that point my husband of 16 years left. If only I could have had the choice of leaving my disability behind.

Then, five years after the bombing, I wished, for the first time, that I had not survived at all. What a lonely, frightening time that was.

The following year something stirred me. I saw an advertisement for a flying scholarship that interested me. Why not? Should I? Shouldn't I? So I applied.

This was a step in the dark. I had no idea if I would have the aptitude or the nerve to learn how to fly, but I really felt I should give it a try .As doors closed behind me, was trying desperately to find some new hopes and dreams somewhere.

I can honestly and sincerely say that flying back to Big Bear from Barstow in California on September 17 1998 at 11.45, having just passed my check flight -the music did truly start for me again, seven years after the bomb. My flying instructor, the owner of Aero Haven flying school and all my recently made friends were out on the runway to applaud me as I landed -ME A PRIVATE PILOT! ! ! !

My anonymous sponsor had had the generosity of spirit and the humility of not wanting gratitude to buy back for me what is totally beyond the realms of monetary worth, that which is immeasurable and invaluable.

From nothing, I was given a hope and belief in myself again. I am more than grateful to sponsors like yourselves for having the spirit and optimism to believe in others, when they don't feel that they can believe in themselves.

Thank you SO much.